Marriage Advice From An Idiot

My ex-wife faked pregnancies and miscarriages

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Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash

Some Background

In my early 20s, I was lonely and really just wanted someone to love and start a family with. I wasn’t great at starting conversations with girls in person, so I resorted to meeting girls online first. If we hit it off, we would meet up in person and see how it went. It usually didn’t go that great due to various expectations, from either party, not being met or the chemistry just wasn’t there. I was on all of the major dating sites and constantly refreshing and trying to meet girls. Looking back, I was more desperate than I was willing to admit. Life was not turning out how I had planned.

Chaotic Love

This went on for a few years. In 2005, I decided to join the Marines, so I started working out to get ready. In December of that year, I met a girl online and she seemed perfect. She said all the right things and the chemistry was definitely there. We met up a couple of times and I fell hard for her. Within a few weeks, she called me while she was walking out of a doctor’s visit and told me she was pregnant. I never went to followup doctor visits with her to confirm. I was an idiot.

The Nightmare

Then it all fell apart. About 1.5 months into boot camp, the chaplain called me into the Drill Instructor’s house (where they slept). He explained to me that my wife had called and was demanding they send me home because she had a miscarriage. I was distraught. Those precious babies I had been fighting for were gone. My world crumbled in an instant.

Hope in a Time of Inconsolable Sadness

At graduation, my wife surprised us with an ultrasound and announced that she was pregnant again. I was elated. My parents were dumbfounded and confused. It was highly unlikely that she could biologically be pregnant again so soon after miscarrying, but I only saw her and the baby. Again, I was an idiot. After graduation, I worked recruitment duty and then went onto infantry school. While in infantry training, I had medical issues and they decided to discharge me.

The Nightmare Continued

Two weeks before coming home for good and about 8 months after we got married, I found out that my wife had faked both pregnancies and the miscarriage that she used to bring me home from boot camp. In addition, she was using our income to rent a trailer home for her and her boyfriend to live in. I was furious, which hid the brokenness I felt inside. She took me on the most volatile emotional rollercoaster ride I could imagine.

A Happy Ending

Eventually, we got a divorce, and soon after I married the woman that I will be married to for 12 years next month. I had 2 stepkids and we had a baby together (a real one! yay!).

Advice from an Idiot

I hope and pray that you don’t learn the hard way as I did. Don’t make hasty decisions based on unverified, big, life-changing “facts”, even from those that you love and trust. If the military is in your future, then know that it is a very big commitment and is not family-friendly, no matter what your recruiter says. Be prepared for hardships and challenges at every level.

Lover and amateur writer of Science Fiction. Occasional writer of inspirational and non-fiction articles. Wishes he could stop speaking in 3rd person.

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